Why Torquay ISN'T One of the Best Seaside Towns in the UK
Here at Lincombe Hall, we've spent a lot of time talking about why Torquay is one of the best seaside towns in the UK.
It's about time you heard the other side. So, in the interests of balance, we've come up with some reasons why Torquay definitely isn't worth visiting.
Is this for real? Yes. Are we being completely serious? Err… maybe.
We've got nightlife, but we don't have knight life
OK, we've got to give Torquay its due here. Of all seaside towns in the UK, ours ranks close to the top for nighttime entertainment.
There's The Foundry, a buzzing nightclub on Torquay's equally lively harbourside. There are music venues, like The Attic and Rock Garden, which host a diverse range of rock and dance acts. And there are plenty of cosy pubs and sleek bars where you can soak up some local atmosphere.
But that's all moot, of course. We all know the kids are into mediaeval reenactments these days. Pubs, clubs and bars are yesterday's news.
We'll give it to you straight: the chances of spotting a knight in full regalia riding along Torquay Harbour are very slim. Sorry to disappoint.
There's nothing here for anyone over 120
So we've got lots of nightlife and very few armoured noblemen. What else?
Well, we suppose you could try a spot of waterskiing. Or scuba diving. Or take a boat tour out into the English Channel and spot wild dolphins and seals. You know, if that's your thing.
And if you enjoy a slower pace of life, you could – at a push – while away a happy weekend in our many top-rated restaurants and shoreside cafes.
So, yes. There's something for nearly all ages here. But if you're over 120 years old, forget it.
We only have 20 beaches
The borough of Torbay is home to Torquay, Paignton and several other seaside towns. It's also home to 20 beaches and coves, dotted across a scenic 22-mile stretch of coastline.
Are you thinking what we're thinking? Yes – only 20 beaches in 22 miles. Surely they could have squeezed a couple more in there?
Still, 20 beaches is more than Birmingham or London or Paris can offer. And it's more than what you'll find at other popular seaside towns in the UK like Bournemouth and Brighton.
But if you're a stickler for efficiency, you'll be thinking about those spare two miles for your whole holiday.
You might have to buy a bigger diary
Think seaside towns in the UK are all donkey rides and penny arcades? Think again.
We can't speak for Bude or Bognor Regis. But here in Torquay, we're positively spoiled with things to do all year round.
Browse any 'what's on' website and you'll see tonnes of exciting events happening in and around Torquay. Laugh-a-minute comedy shows? Check. Weekend-long outdoor raves? Check. An honest-to-goodness pirate festival? You'd better believe it.
Frankly, it's a bit annoying. We keep having to buy bigger diaries to make room for it all.
Save yourself a trip to WHSmith. Stay home.
We're warmer than most seaside towns in the UK
There's a reason our coastline is called 'The English Riviera'. Thanks to our unique microclimate, Torquay feels like a little slice of Southern France, right here in Devon.
OK, we can't quite match the French Riviera's scorching summer average of 27°C. But with the surrounding hills acting as a natural suntrap, Torquay is warmer than most seaside towns in the UK.
Spring starts a little earlier. Summer feels breezy and mild. And you can still enjoy long beach walks in autumn without packing thermals and a flask of tea.
The downside? If you prefer a chill in the air, it might be best to avoid Torquay altogether. Or, you know, just visit in winter.
You can't land a private jet on the beach
We just don't get it. Despite the lack of cold weather, urban odours and supercentenarian activities, people just keep on coming to Torquay.
Is it because we were named one of the best seaside towns in the UK for family holidays? Nah. We reckon it's because there are so many transport links. They've made it too easy.
Want to come by train? Hop on the 09:37 at Paddington and you'll be here for lunchtime. By car? We're only a short drive from the M5. Heck, you could even fly into Exeter airport and then take a taxi direct to the harbour.
But if you want to land your private jet directly on the beach, you're out of luck. Rules, rules, rules.
If you must visit… we'll be here to welcome you
Sorry… what? Our totally serious article hasn't convinced you to give Torquay a miss?
Rumbled. The truth is – we love it here. With its long, sandy beach, gorgeous weather and lively local scene, Torquay is easily one of the finest seaside towns in the UK.
Of course, we're biased. Our hotel and spa is just minutes from Torquay's famous harbour, with its bobbing yachts and swooping seagulls. (We're spoiled, we know.)
The good news: you can snatch some of this seaside luxury for yourself. Stay with us and you'll be within easy reach of Torquay's best bars, restaurants and attractions.
In fact, we've got two of the town's finest restaurants right here…
Dine, rest and relax
With its romantic, intimate feel, The Dining Room is ideal for sampling some of the region's tastiest seasonal ingredients. Fancy a quick bite? Head to the Brasserie – a relaxed, stylish eatery that serves some of the best fish and chips on the English Riviera (if we do say so ourselves.).
Want to pamper yourself? Book yourself in for a spa treatment or six. Our luxury coastal spa has some of the best facilities around, including an ice room and a hydro pool. You won't find those at many seaside towns in the UK.
Then, of course, there are the rooms. Comfortable, stylish and fully air-conditioned, they're tailor-made for a terrific night's sleep.
And there's so much to do here, you'll need a good rest – trust us.